These funny quotes about life and love, about yourself are suitable for any status, both for Him and for Her. Surprise them with cool quotes about men and women, about girls and guys of your friends. Funny Love Quotes about life, love and relationships, about women and men, about yourself, someone likes to tell, someone to listen. One thing is undeniable – it becomes fun for everyone Specially Husband and Wife.
This section presents funny aphorisms, funny phrases and funny statements about love, about life, about girlfriend and boyfriend, and in general a lot more about what. Despite the fact that all these quote are written with a fair amount of humor, there are quite a few wise quotes among them. We collected funny and characteristic quotes about true Lovers for you and discovered some real treasures !
If you are looking for funny quotes about love, read below and you will find the classic bickering between husband and wife, the big questions that populate the mind of the most or the irreverent misunderstandings between lovers, all seasoned with the right dose of Eros. And yes … love can be fun too!
Many things have been said and written about love … and some quotes are quite funny. Find below quotes, metaphors and funny phrases on the theme of love. Why not send one of those humorous sentences to the man or woman you love?
Funny Love Quotes
“I do not know why I studied in life, if all I need to know is the geography of your body, the history of your eyes and the chemistry of your kisses”
I thought I was an exceptional lover , until I discovered she had “asthma”
He: Do we exchange the telephone number ?
She: No thanks, I’m fine with mine.
“If I eventually meet the woman of my dreams, what will I do with my wife?”
Funny Quotes On Love
I just do not think about you 24 hours a day because I shoot for 4 to 6 hours to think about us both …
Make your mother, my mother-in-law!
“Yesterday we were three: I, you and happiness. There are two of us today: I miss it”
Love is like when you lose the remote. You look around the house, but when you get tired and stop looking, it magically appears.
A woman does not fall in love with a man, but by the scent he uses
When a man says that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, means that he does not know what to do with it in bed.
I will love you from March to January, because February is Carnival.
Your soul mate is out there. Together with seven billion people . Distributed on five continents. Assuming it is alive. And that’s single .
In a thousand I chose you … see sometimes the rush
Funny Quotes About Love
One day my boyfriend gave me a rose and said: “I will come back to you when this rose fades” Then I realized that it was an Artificial Rose.
There are sweet girls who open their hearts, smart girls who open their minds, and then there’s me … I open the fridge!
You were close to me in difficult moments, then I realized that the difficult moments were when you were near me!
Marrying 21 is the same thing as leaving the party at 8:30 p.m.
Funny Love Quotes For Him
I went to the butcher shop to buy a chicken, the guy asked me “chest or thigh?”. I said “character”, everyone applauded me.
If you love someone, let him go out to drink. If I call you drunk, it’s yours. If you turn off the phone, it never was.
Love is like an hourglass. The brain empties as the heart is filled.
Last night I kissed my pillow thinking about you. I wish that one day I could kiss you while dreaming of my pillow.
Love is a game: either you are the player or you are the toy
Funny Love Quotes For Her
My heart is worse than a nightclub … I do not let anyone in!
He: Love do not cry , you become ugly when you cry …
You: But I’m not crying!
We say that love is on every street corner … so I have to live on a roundabout …
“Love is like a big cold, it gets caught in the street and it ends up in bed”
Funny I Love You Quotes
Love does not make you blind. You’re just painting in the dark.
My girlfriend left me a note on the fridge with the words : “It does not work, I’m leaving home “.
I opened the fridge and was working perfectly.
Do you know what it means to go back to the house and find a woman who gives you a little love , a little affection , a tenderness ? That you’ve entered the wrong house , that’s what it means!
“The man of your dreams exists, you just have to sleep more.”
After love ten percent of the men turn on their right side and fall asleep, ten percent do the same on the left side. The others get dressed and go home.
Apart from the monkeys, all the animals refuse to make the love face to face. They must sense that the back is racing less quickly than the face.
I Love You More Than Funny Quotes
When the rich make the love they have a lot of fun; when the poor f * ck, they have a lot of kids.
My experience is that sugar dissolves in water, so please do not walk in the rain anymore.
The right men are either already married, or they work too much.
Without you I am like an ocean without a beach, a cheeseburger without cheese, a phone without a camera!
You know my doctor found my blood sugar very low, so he told me to dilute my drinks with your fingers. Save me my love.
Cute Funny Love Quotes
You shine brighter than the sun – but now turn off the light, I’m too tired!
You’re breaking my heart. Good thing there are so many good adhesives on the market!
I talk to the couch, flirt with the TV, have breakfast with the toaster. Before I start a relationship with the vacuum cleaner: MESSAGE!
I am small, my heart is clean, my bed is empty, are you coming here quickly?
You have my first thought in the morning and my last thought in the evening and some hot thoughts in between!
Funny Quotes About Love And Relationships
So, my dear, time here can be spent not just with pleasure, but also with benefit. What do you sincerely wish with all my heart!
One day you ask me if I love you more – life or you? I will answer – the car. And you will leave without knowing that I still love chocolate with nuts and pistachios.
The guy came home with three girls and asked his mother: – Mom, guess who is my future wife? – Over there, in a pink blouse. – But how did you know? – She entered as soon as she began to enrage me!
If someone has an eye on your beloved boyfriend,
it means that someone has this extra eye 🙂
Bring to tears .. everyone can .. And to make the eyes shine with joy … only a few))))))
Love Quotes Funny
Always be yourself, and then it will be yours!
Cupid … come here, I’ll give you an orange … you want two … okay, five, and you shoot that boy out … okay?
I used to have no luck with guys. The time has passed. I got wiser, wiser. Now guys have no luck with me.
She: – Why meet, if you still break up? He: – Why live, if you still die?
“They say they need to throw the coin where they want to go back. I’ll definitely shake off the whole wallet by the neck”
Love Funny Quotes
the most perfect pair is Adam and Eve, because she did not tell him about her ex, and he didn’t say how his mother cooked deliciously !!!!))))
Never argue with a guy – cry right away.
Many of us are trying to play “Romeo and Juliet”, but it turns out “Dumb and Dumber …”
Sorry, but I already have a girlfriend. And if they offer you Lamborghini, will you also say “I’m sorry, but I already have a Lada”?
Funny Quotes About Life And Love
I wish all the girls to have a loved and loving boyfriend! Why? Yes, so they stop hanging on my boyfriend !!!
Love is when a girl puts the name of a loved one as all her passwords. Big love – when all passwords are different …
true Love is a drug that is not prohibited, but it’s still very difficult to get one’s dose …
I want to fall in love, looking for a victim …
If you have nothing to throw at the legs of the girl, then at least do not get confused there!
Cute Funny Love Quotes For Him
when you are good – good for others, when you are a bitch – good for you!
“Desire is not what you see, but what you imagine”
Save time! >>> Fall in love at first sight!
I love him, and I like him, and no one will guess to whom this is dedicated.
Funny Love Quotes And Sayings
Love is a swamp in which two idiots drown.
Good relations are those that do not need to put a password on the phone.
Always a love triangle is disproportionate – the presence of an obtuse angle is mandatory.
Fell in love – this is when you stand, like an idiot near the women’s toilet, with a woman’s bag and happy.
There is nothing more important than love. Only water to drink. And the air to breathe. And gravity too. And it’s important to eat too.
Funny Self Love Quotes
The brain is the most amazing organ. He is able to work 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from the moment of your birth and exactly until … until you fall in love.
Love is like God … It exists only for those who believe in it …
He loves not the one who gives diamonds, but the one who does not send an abortion!
Love is the fifth season of the year. You never know what to wear and whether to undress.
I Love You Funny Quotes
Love is a nervous disease: first, in your loved one, everything worries you, and then everything irritates you.
It is easier to love memories than a living person.
Love is fire, and marriage is a fire extinguisher.
Funny Quotes With Pictures About Love
The lover does not always confess his love, and he who confesses his love does not always love.
For women, the peak of sensitivity is 30-35 years old, and for men – at 8 am.
The woman who, it seems, agrees, but does not give, reminds the slow Internet.
A woman has a whole body – a heart. And even the head
Funny Love Quotes For Her From The Heart
“It often happens that after a woman gives the key to her heart, she changes the lock the next day.”
And how well the girls start: beloved, sweet, pretty, small, stupid, fool, idiot, dumb-ass, brute, bastard, I hate …
Honey, what would you like for this evening ? – I would like an apple, bitten and preferably on the back of the new phone.
Observation: February 23 – drunken men everywhere, March 8 – drunken men everywhere.
Now is the 21st century! It doesn’t matter if you sleep with a man or a woman – you sleep with a person!
Something normal men do not come across to me. – Just normal is not your type.
Oh, dear, you look good, you are right in bloom and smell! Probably finally met the man of her dreams? No, I left the a*shole.
I Love You More Than Quotes Funny
My husband and I lived quietly until I noticed that the neighbor was washing the stairs with his pants …
If a guy sees you without makeup, in a stretched sweater, with a bun and in sweat pants and still says that you are beautiful, then that is what scared the peasant. Respect
Honey, why didn’t you pick up the phone? I was in the shower. Naked? No, damn it, in scuba.
Yesterday, my husband, after eating potatoes with a chicken and a salad, after drinking apple compote with pancakes, issued: If you ever leave me for another, I will still come to you for dinner!
I bought myself panties, the price tag re-sticked to my husband for a shirt … I was upset, he said he bought an expensive shirt.
The first time I fell in love at 17, the second at 18, the third at 19:30
I Love You More Than Quotes Funny
The best diet – love, the best fitness – f * ck. If you still do not lose weight – change the coach and nutritionist.
At first, you think that you will never love anyone, and then a cat appears in your life …
Of course, my love, you must have a personal opinion and now I will tell you about it!
Me + you + kisses + hugs = When?
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